The Enterprising Moms

A few days ago, I had breakfast with several other Enterprising Moms. During the conversation, the topic of over committing came up. Several moms concurred that the desire to be fully involved in the lives of our children, their schools, our communities tended to throw their work/life balance completely out of whack.

What was powerful about the conversation was that the dialogue didn’t automatically shift to letting things go and saying no, as is often the case. Instead, one mom, and then another, and then another shared their experiences in scaling back. While it’s important to be involved with the parent’s committee at the elementary school for one mom, for instance, it wasn’t critical to be the committee chair. And, while it’s important for another to be involved with a local fund raiser, it she didn’t really have to spearhead the event.

Moms shared several examples of how reconnecting with their reasons for getting involved in the first place and looking these things within the context of their priorities and available time, they were able to make some shifts. These shifts enabled them to continue to be involved and participate, without having to do each and everything with the same level of intensity.

Instead, they realized that there are degrees of participation — committee chair, committee member, day-of-event support. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing

So, what can you do when your involvement is requested or you feel called to participate?

1. Don’t commit on the spot (no matter how much pressure you may feel!). (Thanks for thinking of me to chair the Animal League’s annual fundraiser. I need some time to consider. I’ll give you a call next week.)
2. Consider where the request fits with your values and priorities. (Animals are second only to my family.)
3. Take a big picture look at your life and your commitments. (I already volunteer at the animal shelter twice a month with the kids.)
4. Determine if you’ve got the time and space to commit and to what degree. (I really believe in this cause and would love to attend, but don’t have the time and energy to chair. I’ll commit to helping with logistics on the day of, instead. Or, I’m going to pass this year, but check back with me next year.)

By taking the time to assessing each potential opportunity for involvement and really assessing the role that’s required and how much time we can afford, we can say yes, or no in conscious choice.